MpH

This is a subject that I wanted to treat for a while but somehow it kept on getting pushed over. The subject is about an activity that is practiced in every country and yet we find a way to stand out from the crowd since we do it in a totally different way. The action I am referring to is quite simple really, it is driving a car. There are no gray areas in this field, you have to abide by the rules, and obey the laws. You cannot go driving around as you please. Since the Lebanese national sport is bending over the rules, we do not comply and this puts other at risk. The drivers are divided into 2 sections, the ones who do not stop at a traffic light; they are either color blind, or just stupid. And the other half who stops at the traffic light, this section of people has three actions that I find hilarious: first of all, as they are coming, and see that the light has turned to orange they put the pedal to the metal and go full speed trying to avoid the red light and forgetting that the purpose of the orange light is to slow down. The other action that dazzles me is when they are the third or second car in a lane; the second the light turns green they honk for the first person in the lane to move it and do not take in consideration the time needed for the car to kick off. The third one and in my opinion the funniest, when they arrives just as the light turns red, some people get out of their car and go to the nearest shop and charge their phone credit; that is the beauty in the Lebanese driver, he doesn’t have a minute to lose. 

Since we have no control of the streets, those illegal actions go unpunished. And sometimes when stuck in traffic and in the absence of a policeman, some of the drivers go out of their cars and start guiding the traffic as they please just for them to get out of this jam and reduce their gas consumption. Every morning as I get in my car there are three things I worry about on the streets; the taxi cars, the motorcycles and the middle aged women with 4x4. For the taxi, the reason is quite simple, the cars are usually old and poorly maintained; missing every blinker light he has, they can stop at any moment and the only signal they give you is waving their hand out of the window, always wondered what they do when it’s raining. If you are stuck behind a taxi in a narrow street, he insists on taking every person on the block to their destination, and you are powerlessly behind him cursing as your brain is trying to figure out a way to get you out of this mess.

 

The second thing I dislike is motorcycles, or as I call them; the mosquitoes of the streets. In Lebanon motorcycles are not considered vehicles (Go figure) therefore they do not follow the rules the cars abide with, in fact they do not follow any rule, they don’t have to stop on traffic lights, all the streets work both ways for them and they do not stick by a lane. They contempt themselves by slaloming around cars and getting crammed in less comfortable situations letting the car driver to worry about them and if they mess up and get knocked down they do not spare you an insult all the way to your mother, sister and sometimes a whole generation. But the cherry on the top of the cake is the fact that in the occasion of a collision between a car and a motorcycle, the driver of the car is always the one to blame and the cause of the accident will be 100% his fault. Finally, I get to the middle aged women in the 4x4, I like to call them the cleaners (no sexism intended) because in their high cars they do not stop for anyone, pushing everyone away since they want to pass, since in their high cars they are immune to accidents, and if they get into one, they burst out screaming and at you from the top of their lungs because in their minds they are right and you are wrong, but as soon as it turns out that the accident was their fault, they say that the system is corrupt. 

I’ve been going on and on about the drivers but I forgot to talk about the streets, those dark streets where you are blinded by the lights of the car coming towards you, those dark streets where all the traffic lights are off, those streets that have holes deeper than valleys and wider than seas, holes so many that we have to take major risks to avoid them. Let’s not forget about the crown jewel of the Lebanese engineers a true landmark that is sure to make it into the 7 wonders of the world; it is the bridge in the middle of the highway. But still, cars are a true passion in Lebanon, if you ask someone what is faster than a speeding bullet; they won’t answer by “Superman” but by "Bugatti Veyron Super Sport".