The Christmas Curse

Christmas came and left without being noticed, aside of the unusual traffic jams and the human filled clothing stores I haven’t been in the mood of the holidays. They say that it is the most wonderful time of the year, but I find no joy in the fact that it takes me 30 min to get to my house although I am 100m away. And I find it ridiculous to wait in line for 20 min just to pay for my sweater. In this season everyone is broke because of buying gifts to their relatives, gifts that they will probably exchange later. This opens my first topic of conversation; gift exchanging. Why is it so wrong to tell someone that you did not like the gift they got you, it is known that I have different taste than you and if we did have the same taste then we would be the same person. I will not necessarily like what you got me; you might find it hilarious but I think of it as dull, after all that is the meaning of a society; a group of different people. We are all unique, from the way we dress, to the way we think and the list goes on. So why is it wrong to tell someone that you did not like their gift, why should we sit there with our fake smile trying to make up a use for what we just received while you can just say that you appreciate the gesture but you do not like this particular shirt, or trousers,…  And the most excruciating gifts are the ones we get from our grandparents; I really appreciate the fact that they took the time to go and pick out a gift for me, but if they must get me something, I prefer that they give me some money because we have very different taste and I cannot exchange their gift since they expect me to wear it whenever I see them, and if I don’t they will ask me about it. They might not know it, or they may deny it; but they put a lot of pressure on us, they dictate our lives, our parents can understand us but grandparents have lived and brought up kids of their own so they are set in their ways. The second Christmas tradition that I dislike takes place in the few days after Christmas; when we have for lunch and dinner all the leftovers from Christmas eve, we go from house to house, eating cake to cake because it is impolite to say no if you are offered; it is the Christmas blessing.  Well we all have a belly full of blessings and a month of subscription to the gym to prove it. 

 At Christmas, we bring out the street decorations (who have a lifetime of 1 day) and along comes the street beggars who harass you, literally jump on your car just to get a little money, we can pity them as much as we want, but the fact is that this money you are giving doesn't go to them, and even if we must be generous during this time of year their lives won’t get any better.

New year’s eve; the biggest disappointment,  it is the obsession of every young Lebanese since November, they all say they are tired of Faraya, that it is full of younger teenagers and that they’d rather stay home than go up there, but on the 31^st you’ll find all of them with their 20cm high heels and their tight clothes standing in the snow on the outside of a club they paid their ass off to go to even if they know that it will be crowded as hell and they’re probably not going to have fun. It is the Lebanese way of thinking; forget the cons, but nag about them later.

Legions of Religions

 It is said that all men are created equals, but every one of us is different from the other; whether it is skin color, way of thinking and religious beliefs. That last one I find expendable and here is why: from the moment mankind appeared they started believing in some higher power to put sense into what they thought was unexplainable; the creation of mankind, the creation of fire, and the answer to the most important question of what happens after we die. Throughout History, every civilization had its explanations and consequently its own religion, from the Egyptians, to the Romans, the Greeks and the Hebrews. Then submerged some more like the Christians, the Muslims, the Buddhist, the Hindu… all of them with the “divine” purpose to enlighten us and make us live in harmony, but then everyone used its believers to create an army and fight in the name of god. But then science broke through, and another war started, one that made religion have its hands full because science gave a more logic explanation to everything and it proved that what religion was saying was wrong. The earth isn’t flat with hell below and heaven above like they suggested, it is round and turns around the sun along with some other planets, the story of Adam and Eve proved to be wrong as Darwin pointed out that we evolved from primates. The purpose of what I am saying is this: why should we divide ourselves over religion while science can unify us? Science is universal and unique; it has one true answer to every question. We do not see scientists marching to war because one gave an explanation that the other doesn’t agree to, but in 1096 we saw the pope giving orders to go and kill the “sinners” who have taken Jerusalem. One can say that science is a dangerous weapon, but it is the wickedness of man that made it like this, it is his need for destruction that made him misuse this blessing.  Getting back in our world today and more specifically in Lebanon, we are still fighting this unfinished war between Christians and Muslims, every side living in its own part of town fearing to go to the other side. Our capital is divided in half; Beirut west and Beirut east, I was born a Christian, I live in the east side of our nation’s capital and I know some people who are not allowed to go to Beirut west in fear of something happening. Yes there was a war, yes it left an unhealed scar in your being, but parents have to understand that the young generation should patch things up, bridge the gap between these beliefs that I find ridiculous. Parents should not hold megaphones and scream into the minds of their children what they should do and what they should believe in, just the other day while I was at a bar enjoying a drink with a couple of friends we heard some screams coming from the outside, a few boys about my age were beating another one, they threw him on cars, stomped his face, ripped his clothes. We found out later that this all started when the boy insulted Jesus. You could say that it was the alcohol acting, but if their parents didn’t spoon feed them all this hatred for the other religion none of that would have happened.  If the original purpose of religion is no longer needed then why is it still here present in our everyday lives? We brag to the outside world that Lebanon is a crossroad of civilizations, well I think of it as a front. Religion plays a nasty part in politics too; a religious figure shouldn’t stand on a weekly basis and give its political opinion which influences the masses, just like the soldier who is not allowed to vote, a religious figure is entitled to an opinion but he should keep it to himself. You devoted your life to praise and adore your god, then your role is to pray and not to run this country, leave politics to the people who understand them (who are rare in this country). 

Another example of the simplicity of our way of thinking; in the down town of Beirut there is a beautiful mosque with high minaret, a true landmark. And near it a regular size church, a few weeks ago I noticed that this church is building a freakishly large bell tower, its proportions to the size of the church make it nothing short of hideous. I paused for a moment to think why would they do such a thing, do they have no taste what so ever. And then I realized that the answer was in front of me, the only reason they are making this bell tower so big and tall is for it to be higher than the minarets of the nearby mosque. Are we so simple minded that we let these little petty things bother us, that we reduce ourselves to these pesky little tits and tats. And what I found more alarming is when I told this story in front of some of my friends they encouraged it. This is a country that will forever be rear minded since its future is still living in the past.

But we must hand it to religion; sometimes in Lebanon it can walk hand in hand with science, the bible and every church have a Facebook or Twitter account now. They are spreading the word of god status by status, tweet by tweet.

Pupil Dilatation

A few days ago, while I was walking on the street I was approached by a teenager with a green peace t-shirt. He asked me if he could take a few minutes of my times to talk to me about the Lebanese environment. As he started reciting what he obviously had been spoon-fed by one of the big fish of this organization, he showed me a picture of a beach they cleaned recently. Then, he asked me the amount of the donation I was about to give. I respectfully declined to be a part of this organization simply because I think that there is no hope for this country to achieve environmental friendliness, I mean let’s have a look at the fumes that come out of the electricity company in zouk and all the trash they are throwing in the sea; from oil, to random industrial waste. And this pollution isn’t restricted to this company, for all the Lebanese people take part in this action as they consider the sea to be their own trash can; a few years ago, there were reports of some cow heads floating somewhere along the Lebanese sea line. This young optimist activist then asked me that if I had a child who had cancer would I not try every medicine, go through every doctor in the world and spend every penny I had to try and find him a cure. I responded:” of course I would only if my child wanted to, but if for a random reason my child doesn't want to be cured then he will refuse to take the medicine, he won’t go to any doctor appointment I set up and all the money I spend will be wasted because this attitude that he is having is going to kill him and there is nothing I can do. 

What I am aiming for is not to change you, nor to make you take action but just to open your eyes every time a taxi driver throws a bag out of his car window, every time a smoker keeps his cigarette on the floor, etc… and let you see that this is your country they are littering, this is your country they are polluting, and it doesn't matter how much money you will donate because every time you clean, someone will come and mess up behind you. And I asked this kid if he went back to that beach he cleaned and took a look at it and saw the waste piled up near the oil tarnished water. I was wrong, I thought for years that the problem with our country was our leaders but the actual parasite that is eating this country up is its people and their non-caring way of thinking; that they have the privilege to mess up because someone will come and clean after them.

 That also applies in fields such as the Lebanese way to drive; the Lebanese driver considers that every car is going to move along and let his majesty pass.  Politically this explains a lot, because the power is supposedly in the hands of the people who are uncaring and will elect more uncaring leaders to sit in these gold crested chairs and not give a fuck about this country. And that is the sad truth that I came across today, for this country to get better we have to start by the basics and teach the ignorants how to preserve what I consider the most beautiful country in the world. I will get my mallet and my chisel and start sculpting the Lebanon that I dreamed of for many nights.

Let's hope it changes

We must acknowledge the fact that in Lebanon the upcoming generation thinks that they can be in two places at one time. On a Friday night, the regular Lebanese has about 3 places to be at, and 7 people to see, we clearly have a problem with saying no to someone who wants to see us. Since it is obvious that it is practically impossible for us to achieve all of this, we’re bound to disappoint someone. But we think that it is better if we lie to them; tell them that our friend is travelling and we must see him, that we have a lot of studies, or the most ridiculous excuse of sickness. And every time as we hear their disappointment filled voices we swear to ourselves that it is the last time that you take on so many projects because you “care” about your friend and you don’t want to see him get hurt. But you’ll do it again, this very same cycle that will know no end. But the worst part is that every time you say that you are going to stop this profanity you’ll only be lying to yourself. But the question that I ask myself is why do we do this? And the best possible answer is that we categories our friends in a pyramidal pattern.  On the top are the few friends that we enjoy seeing the most, lower, there is the friends that we enjoy less, etc… And clearly on the bottom there is this mass of people that we once knew, in a time when our interests where the same and we hope to see some day, we have an unset date together that keeps on getting postponed to an undefined time. And the way this pyramid works is that if on a Friday night we are set to see a “friend” and later another “friend” from a higher layer of the pyramid contacts you, you’ll dump the person from the lower layer like a month old sock. It is unnecessary to say that a person can be on the top of your pyramid but you are in the middle of his. But not everyone is like that, there is a small minority who is honest and honors the power of a verbal agreement. Their patterns are circles; no one better than another.

The whole point of me babbling about this subject is to say that we are losing our honor; we talk the talk but we don’t walk the walk. That is sad because you can no longer trust anyone, not even the persons who are the closest to you. To put it in a nutshell, this generation has a commitment problem; if you currently cannot trust the word of your friend to make plans for Friday night, how in the future are you going to trust a stranger to make plans for your country? 

Lebanese Nightlife

As a common Lebanese teenager, the bar scene is very important, it is where you HAVE to be to have a social life. It is the ideal place “ta to2tof”    (local slang which implies picking up girls) and to get drunk. In Lebanon, bars are localized in certain regions, in Beyrouth for instance you have: Monot (the  dying bar scene), gemmayze ( the local bar scene), hamra ( the growing bar scene). In these bars you see girls who are dressed at their very best; 20 cm heels, short dresses, and freshly done “brushing”… As for the boys they are all extremely ripped with tight muscles (probably because they did about 100 push-ups before they came). These boys and girls come in groups to various bars, but in every bar you can spot these very same sections of people:

1-The WOO group: It is the group of persons (mostly girls) who are at that bar since the beginning of the happy hour, order mostly shots and scream an ear drum breaking WOOOOO before they take every shot. They want to be heard, they want to be seen, and that is why they want us to feel their presence.

2-The loner: It is a guy who spends his entire evening at the corner of the bar with his eyes glued to his iphone, playing some ridiculous game.

3-Wanabee bouncers: It is usually 2 or 3 guys with very muscular bodies who sit at the bar with their beers and just look around as if they have it all under their control, and if there is a “mashkal” they are the first to intervene. They also think that girls will approach them instantly just like the fish approaches the bait, but what they are missing is that girls aren’t as dumb as fish (for some females this hypotheses is debatable).

4-the H.R. person (H.R. = human resources): It is the guy who spends his entire night on his blackberry trying to get more of his friends to join his group, he usually fails miserably.

5-the bartender’s friend: he/she is usually with 2 of his/her friends, they get free shots all night long which makes the WOO group jealous, this group of people is always there with the only purpose of making everyone look at them. They are like the WOO group, only they pay less.

6-The hitter: drunk, alone, tireless, young are the words that describe the hitter. He is someone who is VERY drunk, hits on every girl he sees, always getting rejected, dances alone all night long and tries to blend in a group. He is someone that is constantly laughed at because “manno mwaffa2” or “t2a5ar el mawsam chway “. He attracts the laughter of the wannabe bouncers as his dance moves are nothing but good. He ends up the night by going home alone and fantasizing about a girl he saw and dreams of getting. 

7-the bartender flirter: it is someone who is sitting alone at the bar, but not as pathetic as the loner or the hitter or the wannabe bouncers, he/she is constantly ordering drinks for the only purpose of getting more chance to speak to the bartender. It is a method that has a low to medium chance of working. But when it does, that person is usually making out with the bartender during his working hours and that is making the WOO group jealous because there is a delay in their order. When it doesn’t work, this person usually passes out at the bar.

8-the birthday boy/girl: it is a group of people who come to a bar to celebrate this person’s birthday; they do not hold much interest in this analysis of the Lebanese night life since they are practically transparent except when the cake comes!!

9-the pick-upper: just like the loner, this person hits on every girl in the bar but with a much higher success rate, he is the one French kissing every girl in the WOO group. Or when the bartender is a hot girl, he can focus all his mojo on her and so he will be undermining the bartender flirter. This person is being envied by every dude in the bar and so they insult him and his mother and his sister.                                                                                                               Note: A person like this is not present at every bar, he is very rare.

10-the first timers:  It is a group of 15-16 year olds who want to experience the teenage nightlife. They start by ordering the only thing they know; which is beer then they move on to a more serious drink; vodka. They are trying to make an impression, to leave a mark, but the only mark they’ll be leaving is their puke on the ground, and then they will just go to sleep bowing their heads on their vodka covered table and dreaming of a story to tell their parents because they were up late.

11-The High rollers: A large group of persons (mostly boys) who occupy a huge part of the bar. From the moment they come in, they order “dazinit 2anene vodka” just to get the night started, and then a bottle of the cheapest champagne there is (Ethiopia’s finest).they get the attention of the entire bar since one of them is the screamer ( character who will be developed later). They finish the night drifting with their infinity.

12-the drunks:

 -Boy: it is a dude who belongs to the high rollers, he probably drank a full bottle of vodka by himself ( sec of course) he dances on the bar, creeping everybody out, raising his hands and shaking them as if he wants to fly. He ends up the night falling from the bar and taken home by one of his friends.     

-Girl: it is someone who belongs to the WOO group, she dances at the bar as well (p.s. she is not trying to fly) moving her body in every way giving every guy an erection. She then falls into the arms of one of her admirers, and then picks-up the dancing.

13-the creepy old dude: NO DESCRIPTION AVAILABLE

14-the screamer: he belongs to the high rollers, his mouth has been surgically removed and replaced by a megaphone. When the right dose of alcohol is in his system he turns his inhuman machine on and screams from the top of his lungs a very familiar sound to the Lebanese ear; YALLA YALLA OUHH OUHH YALLA YALLA OUHH OUHH …everyone notices his presence somehow annoying, he is the tip of the iceberg of wazwaza, still everyone joins in for an unknown reason.

Finally we can say that the Lebanese nightlife is different from other countries, yet the same. Every bar or pub has these persons, you may not know them, you may be them, or you may hate them, but they are here and there is nothing we can do about it. But you cannot deny their existence. 

overview of society

Look at the mirror, the person you are looking at is not you, it is the person you want to see but not the person you are seeing. You are meerely looking at the deformed result of a lifetime of work you put yourself to, you are now glancing at what society made you, of what it wants you to be, of what you should be and not of what you are. What you are looking at is neither a man nor a woman, it is neither a child nor an adult, and it is neither black nor white, because what you are looking at is an idea. A projection of what your mind is and not what your exterior looks like. For we misunderstood our eyes they're not receivers, they're emitters, they are the way of exteriorizing what belongs originally in your mind, what is only yours. And that will affect all your other senses, because based on what you think you are, you will only hear what you want to hear, you will only taste what you want to taste, and you will only touch what you want to touch. The purpose of this note is not to criticize the society we live in -even though there is a lot to talk about-but it is a simple observation I made during this few time I've spent here with you. It is a way of expressing what goes on, to shine the light on some dark corners to which we tend to have a forgetfulness attitude, or on some shadowy streets. Shadows created by us standing at our place in society, at where we are supposed to be, and if we move we will eclipse other sides of us, and then we will see another reflection in the mirror not necessarily worse, not necessarily better, but only different. Shadows created by the spotlight of society, which only shines on what it thinks matters and forgets what really counts. The truth is that all of us have our secrets, all of us have some skeletons in our closet, all of us have our shadows, but the more important we are in society, the bigger we will get, and the shadow we cast will do nothing but grow, for we will have more things to hide, more stuff to put in that corner all because we represent the reflection of perfection to this shallow and naive society. But comes a moment in time when our corner is full, when nothing fits in anymore and then it comes out, all the little secrets we wanted to hide, all the gossips we have, everything. Then you won't have this shadow anymore, because you will be right under the spotlight, and no one has a shadow at noon. It is a new beginning, a chance to restart, and the moment you start meeting  people, old or new, it will start, that unstoppable process that keeps on happening, you will get a new shadow, you will put new things in that corner. And then, it will happen again a restructuration of your life, it is nothing but a cycle, a tormenting torturing cycle. It is the only process we can use to purify ourselves and our souls, a process that ends with death, for it is the only salvation we will ever going to get. We are all under the sun in day and a street light at night, not walking, just standing there. For the sun moves, the street light moves and we will remain where we belong, we will remain who we really are but who we pretend to be will change according to that light. It is the way the whole world works, time works like this; a shadow cast by some immovable and dumb object that only does what the light tells him to do, nothing. We humans tend to hate each other, to fight each other, to despise each other, that is why we take great joy in the destruction process of some other people, that is why we tend to nurture a novice, to teach him our ways, so we can destroy him later, watch him fall and crumble. But we are getting out of context, we have to go back to you, standing in front of that mirror and wondering where did you go wrong, because at some point we all shifted from our original trail, that path that has been created to us; not by god, but by your parents and relatives, ever since you were born a grain has been put in your head, a grain that needs a lifetime of nurturing and watering, a grain that will become a tree and bear its own fruits, for since the moment you took your first sight, you are being taught what is wrong and what is right, what is good and what is bad, what is success and what is failure. They want you to grow up and become an engineer, a doctor, a lawyer… because in their eyes, and soon in yours, these are the good jobs, for if you practice one of those you are good and successful.  The corruption of the society starts by your parents, for a child’s brain is like a sponge, it absorbs all it can from the sea of ideas that is surrounding it, and that idea you are looking at in that mirror is the vision your parents have for you, you are nothing but a child standing in your room looking at a mirror and seeing an adult because a visitor that has just left your house told you that “one day you are going to grow up and be like daddy”, so you picture yourself walking like daddy, eating like daddy, loving who daddy loves. You might notice that I am quoting Freud, and it is true for I admire that man. Again we are shifting from our purpose, our job to illuminate what happens in society, our duty towards ourselves to find out who we are. That idea that this child is looking at is the fruits of the tree in his head, that tree that was once a seed, that seed that originated from an opinion, a word, or a remark you heard by walking by the kitchen and overhearing your parents talk about your future, about who you are going to be. Our parents say that they are protecting us from the freaks of society; however they are our biggest threats, armed with our trust, they shove into us all their ideas, their prejudice, their judgments, their narrow minded thinking, and we eat it all up. Foolish us.

politically speaking

this is a note I wrote about a month ago:


Shame on older men who brain wash new generations, shame on older men who feed young minds their prejudice and hatred. We; the upcoming rulers of this country, the future of Lebanon, are idiots. We let these old washed up prehistorical minds mislead us, we let them divide us, we let them lead us into their mistakes, those same mistakes they made many years ago, those same mistakes that caused us a bloody war, where brothers killed each other for the sake of two men none of them had met, for the sake of a “country” they have been dreaming of for many nights and that is never going to come true, or for the sake of religion; did the crusades teach us nothing, are we so blind that we have forgotten our true past and refuse to see the ugly reality that is smacking us in the face, we must face the fact that we are fighting in the name of a god that praises peace, in order to go to heaven; how can someone be so dumb and not see the paradox in this logic we are following. The entire world is divided by race, religion, belief… but we must unite, be the flaming torch that will lead the world into those dark caves and help them to find tolerance, peace and harmony. But I’m getting too far too fast; we are merely crossing the threshold but my thoughts are in the house. We, the Lebanese people, should be like a fist; united and strong, and no matter how small it is it will still make an impact. Forget what those “leaders” are telling you, don’t let your mind be the slave of your parents for they are a part of history, we should learn from them and not copy them. This inspiration comes from the fact that recently there were elections in my university, elections about politics, and the scenes I have seen are nothing but troubling, there is nothing wrong with competition but politics should stay for the elder and the wise, not for the reckless and foolish. I saw a war igniting when the winner was announced, I saw hatred and anger, and for what? To gain the right to rule over the student council and have no political influence whatsoever? The way I see it: ridicule. Students should be elected because they can work and they are popular not because they side with a political party. Fools could be elected just because they FOLLOW this political side, and sadly that is the state of the whole country. Well, we should elect LEADERS; bring in some new thoughts to this young but mentally old community. The war is coming, and instead of avoiding it, we are arming our young men with hatred in order for them to die in the name of a man they haven’t met and a God who forgot them, and the people are incitement puppets controlled by the media.

   

Introduction

since practically no one knows who I am, I will start by a little intro. I am a Lebanese teenager, for those who know nothing about Lebanon it's a small country in the middle east surrounded by Israel and Syria; you can imagine the kind of problems we have. I was brought up as a christian but as soon as I was able to think and see the world for myself I decided that i want to be an atheist because I don't think we should create more differences between us human beings. A lot of my posts (or whatever they are called) are going to be about Lebanon since it is a country that has some pretty special features and I honestly cannot wait to share them.
I am in my second year of electrical engineering but my true passion is writing, but since writers usually end up living in cardboard boxes on the sidewalk I gave myself a safety net.
That is all you need to know for the moment, if you stay tuned you will find out more.